


The Seer

by AngelsFallFirst



Category: Nightwish
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 10:24:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8442085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsFallFirst/pseuds/AngelsFallFirst
Summary: She was beautiful. She was mysterious. Tuomas had to take her with him.[Fanfiction meets Fantasy. It's not creepy but ... well. Happy Hallowe'en!]





	

All Hallows eve, 1889.  
Tuomas Holopainen, a young, Finnish fisherman had just returned with his boat; carefully he pulled it on the shore and the net out of the boat. Whistling a song, he carried the net with the fishes to his car and put it inside. He only had to go back again one time to check if his boat was safe enough not to swim away - and it was. Tuomas had just pulled the rope tighter around the pole as he suddenly saw something ... someone.  
The young man got a shock when he saw her swimming in the water, right next to his boat. Her blonde hair floating around her face in the cold water, her face as white as snow.  
"Vittu," Tuomas cursed and went into the water, grabbing the woman's shoulders. He pulled her outside and cursed again - she was dead, no doubt.

He put her into his car anyway, he had to bring her to the police office, maybe the sheriff could find out who she had been and why she had died. And why she had been wearing nothing but this strange underwear. Tuomas feared the worse - rape and homicide. He felt sorry for the foreign woman and wondered at the same time why he didn't feel strange about the fact that there was a corpse right next to him - maybe because she didn't look dead? Or because she moved?  
Tuomas gasped and stopped his car, glancing over at the dead (as he had thought) woman.  
She moved softly and as fast as Tuomas hadn't expected her to move, she had grabbed his wrist..  
"Tuomas Lauri Johannes Holopainen," she said, her voice light and clear. Tuomas swallowed. Her eyes were still closed but she knew him. Who was she?? "Fisherman," the woman continued and smiled.  
And opened her eyes.  
... Except that there were no eyes.  
Her eyeballs were white as everyone else's but she had no iris and no pupil. Her eyes were only white. She was blind.  
Tuomas felt the sudden urge to run away but instead he asked, "Who - who are you, Miss?"  
The woman smiled and her hand wandered from his hand to his cheek. She caressed his jawline and smiled a little sad. "Seems like I'm your future," she whispered and trailed her finger down his neck. "A lot of pain," she whispered, her face clenched with sadness. Her finger had reached his heart by now. "So much fear and so much pain ..." The woman swallowed. "I better leave again, leave you alone, I will only cause sadness."  
"Wait!" Tuomas croaked as she wanted to leave his car. "I asked the wrong question. Not who are you - what are you?"  
"I'm a seer," the blonde woman said and her face went dark. "I've seen your future, boy, and it's not beautiful." And with those words she left the car, leaving behind a startled Tuomas.

Days, weeks and finally months went by and Tuomas had slowly forgotten about 'the seer'. He had told no one about this little adventure, though, and this was why he had totally forgotten about it a year after.  
He was working at the little fish store he owned. It hadn't been a good year of fishing and Tuomas had to be careful with the money. He didn't have enough. Sighing he went into the bathtub - cold water, he needed to save - water was expensive.  
Then he went into his bedroom - as he suddenly heard a voice.  
"Remember me, fisherman?"  
Tuomas turned around with a shock and his heart almost stopped when he saw the seer.  
She was wearing the same strange underwear-like outfit, but this time she was also wearing a crown made of bones of her head.  
"When you said my future looked bad," Tuomas started, "did you mean I wouldn't catch as much fish this year?"  
The seer laughed lightly. "I didn't talk about your future a year after - the future I've seen is far away." Within a second she was standing in front of him and cupped his face. "I wish I could stay away from you," she said, "and I wish I could understand why I can't. Tuomas." She smiled sadly.  
Then she turned around to leave again.  
"Wait," Tuomas called - same as last year. "What's your name?"  
The seer smiled and faced him, her white eyes resting on him.  
"I'm Kitarjakiti, daughter of Pilarjakiti. I'm the princess of the creatures of the underworld, the lake people, and the only seer of the lake creatures. That's why I'm chosen. I can't stay at the ground of the Kiteenjärvi."  
Tuomas was confused. "Kitati -?"  
"Ki-tarja-kiti," the princess said again, then she turned around and left.  
Tuomas was still confused. Would she come again?

Another year went by and again it was the 31st of October as she visited again. This time he hadn't forgotten her, had repeated her name over and over in his mind, had said it loudly and finally decided to call her Tarja. He'd ask her if it was okay.  
And while he sat at home, waiting for her return, he started getting nervous. He had so many questions ... And they all vanished from his mind as she stepped inside, looking as radiant as always.  
"Tarja," he just said and princess Kitarjakiti smiled.  
"Tarja? I like it," she said and cupped his face. "Tuomas ..." she now whispered and closed her eyes.  
"What do you see?" Tuomas asked and Tarja shook her head.  
"Sadness ... A broken heart ... it's too late, I can't change the future. But we had to meet. I can't change it."  
"I don't get it," Tuomas said helplessly. "And could you come more often? Once a year is not that much ..."  
Tarja smiled again and again it looked very, very sad. "Oh yes, it's too late ..." she whispered, before she spoke louder. "I'm going to break your heart one day. I'm immortal."  
"Okay?" Tuomas said, still helpless.  
Tarja sighed. "You won't understand now, but one day you will. I have to go, Tuomas. I'll come back."  
"Don't wait a year," Tuomas begged.  
"Let's see ..." Tarja whispered and left.

She didn't come earlier and another year went by. Tuomas, now 25 years old, should have already started to look for a woman but his steady excuse was his work. No time and no money for a girl. The real reason was Tarja. During the days he thought if her, in the nights he dreamt of her. And what he dreamt wasn't always nice. Sometimes she would kiss and caress him, sometimes she would kill him slowly and painfully. And as she came again, she immediately put her hands on his cheeks. "You have a beard," she said surprised. "I bet it suits you."  
Tuomas swallowed. "Can't you see anything at all?"  
"I can't see material things. So I have no idea how you look," Tarja replied. "What I can see is the future and the past of a person - and what I can feel are the feelings of the one I'm touching ..."  
"Oh," Tuomas whispered and Tarja grinned.  
"I'm surprised ... You don't even know me," she said gently. "Plus, I'm not human."  
"I don't care, I feel a connection," Tuomas said and put his hand on her waist. "Tarja -"  
"I'm going to break your heart," Tarja said and pulled away. She inhaled sharply.  
"I understand now," Tuomas said quietly. "I'm going to get old and I'm going to die and you won't. But as long as you don't care, I don't care either. Tarja ..."  
He put his hands on her waist and pulled her close.  
"Don't ..." Tarja whispered, her white eyes staring into his. But Tuomas bent down and captured her lips.  
He had no idea how and when he had started loving her, but the deep connection he felt was undeniable. And also undeniable was the fact that Tarja was kissing him back with all her passion.  
She was taking clearly the lead, forcing her tongue inside his mouth, caressing his tongue with hers before they stared fighting for dominance.  
The kiss was so passionate and hot, it made Tuomas lose his mind and soon he just passed out. He simply broke together and Tarja lifted him onto the bed, lying down next to him. "I told you, I'm not good for you," she whispered and kissed his forehead. "Sleep well, my prince ..."

As Tuomas woke up, he didn't know immediately whether he had dreamt of the kiss or not. When he realised that he hadn't, he could have slapped himself for his idiotism. She had kissed him back with so much passion - and he had passed out. "Idiot!" he cursed himself. Since Tarja only came once a year - but no, now after that kiss she had to come earlier! Today! Tomorrow! At latest next week.

And he was right. The day after, her beautiful creature was sitting on the bed, waiting for him and only him.  
"Would you be my prince?" she asked gently and Tuomas sat down next to her.  
"I would," he said gently and took her hand. Once again she held her breath.  
"Your future is so horrible," she whispered, a tear streaming down her cheek. "I'm selfish to take you with me but ... I love you too much. It would hurt me too ..."  
"So you're saying my future will be horrible if I stayed with you?" Tuomas asked and Tarja nodded. And Tuomas hugged her gently. "Then I don't care. I love you too, my princess, and I want to stay with you forever. No matter what my future holds."  
Tarja smiled at him and before she kissed him she whispered, "Don't pass out again, my love ..."  
He didn't.  
He kissed her back with all the love he could show, he cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears away.  
Tarja didn't push him away when he pushed her back, onto the bed, trailing his hands along her body, sliding it beneath her clothes. She shivered when he touched her skin, showing her so many pictures of his past, his present, his future. Showing her how much he loved her, letting her feel what he felt for her. His lips caressed her troat and for the first time ever, Tarja felt the sensation of lust in her own body. Not in her mind, like when she touched someone and saw where he had been last night, no. She felt it in her whole body. It was a prickling feeling, sparks that went through her body, and the feeling between her legs also changed ... It was strange, it almost hurt. It was throbbing with need and Tarja let out a small whimper. His hands roamed over her pale skin and for a moment she couldn't breathe anymore. It was too much. She could feel his lust in her mind, her lust in her body, felt the love he felt for her and felt the love she felt for him. Saw his future. His awful, sad and depressing future, about which he didn't seem to care. He only seemed to care about the here and now - she gasped. His hand was suddenly between her legs and massaging that throbbing spot. All she could see now was what he was thinking about - he was thinking about her. And she was screaming and panting hard, mostly she screamed his name ...  
Tarja was restless. His lips wandered lower and she could see what he was about to do - she wasn't sure if she liked it, though. She knew about that, she had seen it several times. But she had never felt it on her own body.  
'Why isn't she wearing a dress?' she could hear his mind echo in her head and she moaned.  
"Because I'm not like the other women."  
'She can hear me ...' Tuomas thought. 'Good, then I don't have to talk ... Relax, my love. I won't hurt you.'  
"I know," Tarja said gently and leaned back.  
Moments later she came with a scream, just as she had seen it before. What she hadn't seen though was the feeling she had - and this was so much more than she had ever felt in her head. She felt so light and so happy, and for a moment she forgot everything around her. She was flying and as soon as Tuomas had buried himself inside of her, she was flying as well.  
And when she came down again, she realised that Tuomas was as close as he had never been before. He was inside of her. And Tarja saw everything, every little detail of his future. Of their future.  
A tear dropped out of her eye. Their future looked beautiful until his death. Then she'd grow sadder and sadder ...  
It wasn't his future she had seen - it was hers. For the first time ever she saw her own future. And since he would stay with her forever, she had felt her own sadness when she had touched him.  
But it was too late.  
They were mating, they had to stay together. Usually it would be forever, but Tuomas was a human and he would always stay a human.  
"Isn't there any chance of me turning into something like you are?" Tuomas breathed gently. He was still making love to her and Tarja shook her head.  
"No. Born as creature, nothing else can change you."  
Tuomas kissed her fondly. "I can see what you're seeing ..."  
"What?" Tarja asked stunned and Tuomas kissed her again.  
"The connection is real ... I can see our future ..."  
"You aren't supposed to," Tarja whispered, knowing she was wrong. Maybe he was? He was her beloved and he was making love to her. Maybe it should be?  
"I'll stay with you anyway," Tuomas whispered and they kissed again, finally stopping to think about their future and letting go, slipping into a lustful world of beautiful lovemaking.

After Tuomas had woken up, she was gone. He wasn't panicking though, she had returned again after their kiss. And after a night like this she had to return too. Soon.  
But this time Tarja didn't return. Again years went by and Tuomas' mother threatened to cross him from her will if he didn't marry soon.  
Tuomas went out sometimes and there were pretty girls and woman, but the women who weren't married yet weren't as beautiful as Tarja.  
Tuomas was desperate.  
Sometimes he would drive his boat and just scream her name. "Tarja!" he would scream, hoping that she could hear him, wherever she was. "Tarja, my love?! Can you hear me?! Princess Tarja!" He would sob and drink so much alcohol until he fainted on the boat. He never died but also never got saved by Tarja. He just lived.  
And one day he gave up.

He was long over thirty now, his mother had crossed him from her will, his father was ashamed of him. The fish store had closed and Tuomas had let go of himself. He didn't eat anymore and he didn't take baths anymore. He didn't care anymore.  
Until one night.  
One night he awoke as he heard her calling for him. Soft. Like a whisper ...  
"Tuomaaaas ... My love ..."  
He immediately jumped up, not thinking about it for another second. It was her, no doubt. He followed the voice, jumped into his car and drove to the lake. He had no idea why the lake but he knew the voice came from there. He had found her in the Kiteenjärvi ten years ago and here he would find her again.  
But when he reached the lake, Tarja wasn't there. Disappointed he walked towards the woman who was sitting on the pier and was fishing. It was a unusual picture, even though she was wearing that typical dress for 1899 (the most of the dress was hanging into the water) she was sitting there and fishing. Her dark hair was in a bun and she wore the typical hat that fitted to her dress.  
There was nothing strange on this woman, until she turned around as Tuomas cleared his throat.  
She was stunning.  
Her lips were full and sultry, inviting to kiss them, soft rosy and softly apart from each other.  
Her skin was pale but her cheeks were rosy, fitting to her lips.  
Her eyes were green, deep green and beautiful.  
But this wasn't the thing that caught Tuomas' attention - her strong jawline, her nose and high cheekbones did. She looked like Tarja and exactly like her, except of the fact that she was not as muscular as her, dark haired and well - she had eyes. She was also smaller and was wearing a dress but without a doubt she looked like Tarja.  
"T - Tarja?" Tuomas choked out and the woman's mouth fell open. "Sorry. I was mistaken. Ehm - did you see a blonde woman anywhere? We're supposed to meet ..."  
The dark haired woman looked at him apologetically and shook her head.  
"Oh," Tuomas said. "Sorry for disturbing ..." His voice fell and he could only stare at her beauty. This was Tarja's nose, no doubt. Tarja's jaw. Tarja's ears. Tarja's whole face, except of her hair and the eyes ... But even the form of her eyes was exactly like Tarja's! Even her eyebrows had the same colour and shape ...  
And she looked at him, she looked at him so gently ...  
"Who are you?" Tuomas croaked and the young woman smiled again, pointing at her mouth and shaking her head. "You can't speak?" Tuomas asked, his sorrow for her growing. But this was another proof that she wasn't his Tarja. She shook her head again. "Must be hard," Tuomas said and sat down next to the woman. She shrugged and Tuomas took the fishing rope from her. "You're at the wrong place, you have to go more into the middle of the lake. Do you have a boat?"  
The woman shook her head and Tuomas smiled at her. "What's your name?"  
The woman lifted and eyebrow and formed some signs with her hands. "Is that sign language?" Tuomas asked and the woman nodded. "I can't understand it, I'm sorry," Tuomas apologised. "I'm Tuomas."  
Now the woman pointed at him and formed one letter. The first. T. That was easy. "T?" Tuomas guessed and the woman nodded, before she pointed at herself, forming another T.  
"Your name starts with T as well?" Tuomas asked and the woman nodded. Now Tuomas started guessing. "Taimi? Tiia? Teresa? Terttu? Tilda? Terhi? Tuovi? Tove?" She shook her head at every name. "Is it a female name?" Tuomas asked and she nodded. "And is it Finnish?" The woman thought for a moment, then she nodded again. "Talvikki?" She shook her head, but then she lifted two fingers in the air and nodded. "Two," Tuomas said. "The second letter was right?" The woman nodded. "A," Tuomas said. "Taaa ... What's the third letter?" The woman made another sign and Tuomas sighed. "Tanja?"  
Now the woman's eyes widened and she jumped a little.  
"Tanja?" Tuomas asked again and she shook her head. Then she lifted her thumb in the air and nodded. Then her second finger - she nodded again. Then her third - she shook her head. As she raised her fourth finger she nodded and also as her fifth finger was in the air she nodded.  
"So ... the third letter wasn't correct, but all the others were?" Tuomas asked and the woman nodded. "Suddenly he remembered how she had reacted when he had said Tarja ...  
"Tarja?" he whispered and the woman clapped her hands and nodded. "Tarja ..." Tuomas' mind was turning.   
Tarja looked at him confused. "Sorry but that's how my ... my fiancée was called," Tuomas said softly. They hadn't gotten engaged but they had talked about it ... "Before she disappeared."  
Tarja put her hand over her heart, looking at him sadly.  
"I haven't been able to fall for someone new since then ... It has been six years but I can't forget her ..."  
Tarja formed something with her lips, which looked a lot like "I'm sorry".  
"It's okay," Tuomas said. "I loved her so much but she's gone. I doubt she'll come back."  
Tarja lowered her eyes on his hands. "I'm not wearing a ring," Tuomas said and crossed his arms quickly. "Are you engaged or married?"  
Tarja blushed and shook her head.  
"Oh," Tuomas said. "How old are you? Wait, I'll guess." He looked at her, she was really young. "16?"  
Tarja ripped her eyes open and shook her head intensely. Tuomas laughed. "Yeah, it was a joke ... Hm, 21?" Tarja shook her head. "Older?" Tarja nodded. "25?" Tarja shook her head again before she held up two fingers. Her lips formed the word "plus".  
"27?" Tuomas asked and Tarja nodded. "And still not married ..."  
Tarja sighed and nodded again. "Hey, I'm 35 and still not married," Tuomas chuckled, even though he knew that for a woman it was something completely different not to be married with that age. "Are you from Kitee?" Tuomas asked and Tarja shook her head, before she jumped up and pointed a the shore of the lake. She started running and suddenly Tuomas noticed that she wasn't wearing shoes. In October. In Finland. His heart clenched as he followed her. He watched how she knelt down at the shore and started writing in the sand. Tuomas laughed - this was so much a easier!  
"I'm from Mikkeli," he read. "I ran away because my parents wanted me to get married to a man I hated. I haven't been at home for five years now. I don't know where to go." Tuomas looked at her. "I'm sorry," he said gently.   
"It's okay," Tarja wrote into the sand. "Not your fault after all. Tell me about your fiancée - do you know why she disappeared?"  
Tuomas shook his head. "One day she was just ... gone. I waited and waited but she never came back. I miss her ... but I think she had to leave. It's a complicated story."  
"I'm sorry," Tarja wrote into the sand.  
Tuomas shrugged and suddenly a cold breeze came and Tarja shivered.  
"Do you know where to stay tonight?" Tuomas asked and Tarja pointed on the ground. "But it's autumn and it's cold!" Tuomas said and shook his head. "If you want to, you can stay with me."  
Tarja looked at him, a smile forming on her lips.  
"No one has to know," Tuomas said with a shrug. It wasn't meant for an unmarried woman to sleep at an unmarried man's house.  
And as Tarja nodded, Tuomas waved her towards his car, Tarja following slowly.

"I once had a fish store," Tuomas said and opened the store. "I live above it. In had to close my store, that's why I don't earn money and that's why I don't have much ..." Tuomas sunk his eyes, ashamed that he had literally nothing. A bed, a bathtub full of cold water and an old chimney. Tarja smiled lightly, if he only knew how less she cared about material stuff! Her heart stopped beating for a second though, as he led her upstairs and they entered his room. And it was a room, like an attic with a bathtub and a chimney ... And one bed. Where did he eat? Tarja looked around - probably downstairs at the fish store. And where would she sleep tonight? Her mouth had formed a little O and Tuomas smiled gently. Her cheekbones were incredible and just the same as Tarja's.  
"I'll sleep on the floor tonight," Tuomas of course offered, he was a gentleman as one could be. But Tarja shook her head.  
"Yes," Tuomas said and laughed when she continued shaking her head. "I will - stop shaking your head, Tarja - you'll sleep in the bed. Don't shake your head!" He put his hands on her cheeks to stop her from shaking her head.  
And they locked their eyes.  
"We can also share it," Tarja formed with her lips and Tuomas looked at her helplessly.  
"What?"  
"Share," Tarja repeated and pointed at him and herself and then on the bed.  
"Share the bed?" Tuomas asked and Tarja nodded. "Aren't you afraid of me?"  
Tarja thought a second about it and then she shook her head.  
So Tuomas agreed.

Tarja sat up in the bed after a long night. It was still dark outside and once again Tarja hated the fact that Finland was so cold and dark in autumn. She rolled over and sighed as she saw him. He hadn't recognised her ... He had only said she looked like "Tarja". If she could just tell him.  
'One day you'll notice, until then you'll have to live with the fact that I'm mute and looking differently,' she thought. 'I love you so much, Tuomas Lauri Johannes Holopainen. My fiancé.'

"Good morning, Tarja," Tuomas said as he noticed that Tarja was already awake, sitting in front of the chimney and trying to make fire.  
She turned around and waved.  
"Shall I help you?" Tuomas offered, but Tarja shook her head. He watched her and as she finally succeeded, a small fire was burning in the chimney happily. Tarja shivered and quickly got back into the bed.  
"Do you have a piece of paper?" she formed with her lips, and once again he just looked at her. "Paper," she repeated and pretended to write on the bed.  
"Do you want to tell me something?" Tuomas asked and Tarja nodded. "I don't have any paper, I'm sorry," Tuomas said with a blush. "I save all my money for food and water and clothes, you know."  
"That's okay," Tarja formed and Tuomas thought a little.  
"I bet my mother has paper ... But if I bring you there she'll think you're my girlfriend ..."  
Tarja smiled lightly and shrugged.  
"You wouldn't mind?" Tuomas asked and Tarja shook her head. "So I could use you as my fake-girlfriend? My mother will be blessed." Tarja nodded again, laughing quietly.  
"You're quite mysterious, you know that?" Tuomas said gently and Tarja grinned.  
He had no idea how complicated and mysterious she really was.

His mother was blessed indeed, even though it disturbed her a little that her son's girlfriend couldn't talk.  
"How will she raise your children?"   
Tuomas sighed. "Calm down, mother. This relationship is quite new -"  
"How come she is already - 27 you said? And still not married? What do your parents say to that, sweetie?"  
"My parents don't like that but they respect that I was looking for love," Tarja wrote on the piece of paper. "And now I'm happy I've found it."  
"So, what are your plans for the future?" Kirsti asked.  
"Well, Tarja has agreed to help me with the shop," Tuomas said and Kirsti's face lit up.  
"Really??"  
Tarja nodded. "She's a fishergirl," Tuomas said. "Well, her father was a fisherman, and she and her mother sold the fish in their store."  
Tarja nodded again and Kirsti sighed. "Okay. If you trust her then I'll trust her too."  
"It trust her," Tuomas said and just in this very moment he noticed that he did indeed.

When they walked home, Tarja looked at him all the time. He had even said that she was a fishergirl! Not a fish-girl, but if she was honest she was no fish-girl. She was only a lake-girl. Oh, if she could only tell him ...  
"What?" Tuomas suddenly asked and Tarja had realised that Tuomas had caught her staring.  
She took his hand and Tuomas looked at her in surprise.  
"Is that okay?" Tarja formed with her lips and Tuomas nodded and squeezed her hand.  
"It's okay. Tarja ... do you really want to stay? And help me in the shop?"  
Tarja smiled at him and nodded.  
Tuomas' heart started racing. He couldn't fall in love ... not with her. She looked too much like his Tarja but she wasn't his! He couldn't fall in love! But she had taken his hand - did she trust him too?  
But there was no chance to think of it any longer, as soon as they entered the shop, they immediately started cleaning and rearranging everything.

Only two days later they opened the shop. Tarja was a great fishergirl, she even caught more fish a day than Tuomas had ever caught. It was as if she used magic. The shop went better and better and soon Tuomas had reached his old status as the main fish-seller all around Kitee. Of course the people didn't like to see Tarja work there, especially when she wasn't even his wife. Some mean mouths spread the rumour that she was his slave and he used her for work and coitus, the fact that she couldn't talk was just too perfect for them, because she wouldn't scream whenever he raped her. Whether Tarja nor Tuomas cared about those rumours though and they continued living their lives normally; work, work, work and no coitus.  
Until Tuomas got an invitation ...  
"Oh ... my ... Tarja?!" he called down and only a second later, Tarja's head came out of the hole that led down to the shop.  
"Listen to this!" Tuomas said excitedly. "Dear Mr Holopainen, you are bery welcome to join the annual ball in the Kiteen hall. The mayor sent me this! It's this Friday and I ... I may take someone."  
Tarja's smile slowly froze. She knew that Tuomas liked flirting with female customers, especially this Amalia he liked ... he would ask her ...  
"Tarja, come upstairs," Tuomas asked gently and Tarja climbed up, her frown only growing. But then Tuomas knelt down and took her hand.  
"Tarja Turunen," he said gently. "Would you like to be my beautiful escort to the ball?"  
Now Tarja's frown faded and a smile took over. She nodded and Tuomas stood up.  
"Thank you," he said and cupped her face. "You're the only woman I wanted to ask, believe me." Tarja's cheeks went pink and Tuomas chuckled. "I guess you need a traditional dress," he said and patted her cheek. "I'm sure my mother can give you one of hers."

And Kirsti could. "Say, did you think of marriage and children already?" she asked casually as she helped Tarja getting into the dress.  
And Tarja blushed and shook her head.  
"Sweetheart, you'll be 28 soon. You're getting old."  
Tarja sighed.  
"When I was 28 I had my third child already."  
Tarja nodded. She knew that. Kirsti had gotten her first son Petri when she had been 18. And she and Pentti had married in their early twenties. But what could Tarja simply say, they hadn't even had sex. Tuomas even hadn't tried to have sex with her yet. Tarja was desperate, how could he love her in the for of the seer? She was way more beautiful now, long, dark hair, deep, green eyes ... didn't he love her?  
"I'm sorry," Kirsti said gently. "He'll ask you to marry you, I promise."

"Wow ... you look ..." Tuomas was speechless. "Wow," he whispered and took a bow. "I'm feeling honoured to take you to the ball tonight, Miss Turunen."  
Tarja's cheeks were red. She dropped a curtsey and then they went out and arm in arm to Tuomas' car. No one commented on them coming together, probably everyone had expected them to come together already. They greeted the mayor and Tuomas thanked him for inviting them. Tuomas introduced Tarja to some people and then they had to get ready for the traditional dance. Tuomas quickly noticed that Tarja had no idea how to dance it (which left him wondering) but Tuomas was a good dancer, so gladly no one noticed.  
Tuomas also soon realised that Tarja was quite bored. She didn't drink alcohol, she hated dancing traditional dances. She couldn't talk to people.  
Tuomas felt horrible, so he took her outside.   
"Didn't you learn to dance?" he asked as they sat down on a bench in the garden and Tarja shook her head. "Why?" Tuomas asked. "I learned it at school already."  
Tarja only shrugged and leaned against his shoulder. "Are you tired?" he whispered and Tarja nodded, looking up to him. "Let's drive," he said gently and she nodded again. "But before that, I have to ..." Tuomas whispered and his lips met hers in a gentle way. Tarja immediately responded. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with her whole passion, showing him how much she had waited for this kiss to happen.  
And while he kissed her, he had a strange déjà-vu. Because her lips ... her kiss in general ... her hands ...  
They felt so much like the other Tarja's.   
He gently pulled away. "Tarja ..." He whispered and Tarja immediately cuddled herself against Tuomas, who sighed and embraced her. He knew he should just forget the seer and love this woman. She was the right choice for him. She seemed to love him too. But everything on her reminded him of the seer ...  
"Tarja," he whispered again. "Can I bring you home?"  
Tarja nodded and stroke his cheek. Why couldn't she just tell him who she was? And why didn't he see?  
Tuomas smiled and lifted her up. Tarja let out a shocked gasp and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. She pressed another kiss on his lips and Tuomas smiled a little unhappy. "Come, my beauty," he said gently and carried her to the car. He had a hard job to ignore her during the drive, she was permanently touching him, his face, his arm, his leg, his hair, ...  
"Tarja, what do you want?" he asked after he had stopped the car and Tarja's hand wandered up and down his chest. And then she let her finger point directly on his chest.  
"Me?" Tuomas chuckled and Tarja nodded, crawling closer.   
"Wait - wait ... wait ..." Tuomas whispered. He opened the car and got out, then he circled the car and lifted Tarja out of it. "Is my princess tired?" he cooed as Tarja yawned while he carried her into the shop and upstairs. "Come little darling, let's go to bed ..."  
He put her down gently and hovered over her. He couldn't resist ...  
Gently he placed his lips on her throat and kissed his way up to her jawline. He could feel the goosebumps erupt on her skin wherever his lips touched her, he could hear her breathe, he couldn't wait to hear her when she came ... or would she be quiet as well?  
"Tarja ..." he whispered against her lips but Tarja just moved hers with his, making him fall silent through inserting her tongue into his mouth.  
She was an amazing kisser.  
Tuomas soon felt his hardness grow and to his dismay Tarja did too. Carefully she reached lower and massaged him through his suit.  
And then Tuomas gave in. He wanted it. He wanted her. He needed to know how she was in bed. He wanted to see her body. He needed to know if her body looked the same as Tarja's ...  
He opened the buttons of her dress and soon her upper body was revealed; she was wearing white lacy undergarments that made her skin seem even paler. Even her skin tone reminded him of Tarja's, even though Tarja's skin tone had been more greenish ... he ignored it and kissed her skin. If he could only remember Tarja's smell ...  
He enjoyed her breaths and lowered his lips, kissed the valley between her breasts, took off the lacy bra.  
And swallowed.  
Gently he kissed her breasts, trying to ignore the fact that everything of them looked like Tarja's. The size, the form, the nipples, that little mole ...  
He was shaking while he undressed her, revealed more and more of her naked body, got surer and surer that she was indeed his Tarja, his seer ...  
This Tarja though just laid there with closed eyes and said nothing. Her lips were slightly apart and no sound came out of her mouth.  
As Tuomas slowly entered her, her lips parted more, finally letting out a gasp.  
Tuomas bent down and kissed her.  
Their lovemaking was as it had been before, every single second of it reminded him of the seer and tore his heart apart. It was so similar to their last time, yet so special and unique.  
She made no noise as she came and after Tuomas had let go as well, he buried his face in Tarja's chest.  
"I didn't want to use you," he said and Tarja patted his head. "I still love her ... I still love Tarja. And you remind me so much of her ... I used you. I can't believe I used you ..."  
He looked up to Tarja, who looked at him sadly. "Love me," she pleaded silently, but Tuomas shook his head.  
"I just used you ..."  
He felt bad as a tear ran down the young woman's cheek.  
"Tarja -"  
He wanted to touch her but she turned away. She was sobbing.   
"Tarja, please ..."  
"Why don't you love me! I'm her! Can't you see it!" Tarja tried to scream but nothing came out. Of course. "Love me!!"  
"Tari, I can't hear you ..."  
"Don't you dare calling me Tari!" Tarja sobbed without a noise. "How can you say you love her? I am her ... how can you say you love her but you don't love me ... you don't love me ..."  
Tuomas gave up trying to understand her.  
He just kissed her forehead instead and wished her a good night. Then he pulled her close and hugged her, even though she tried to push him away. But soon she stopped and just looked at him.  
She wouldn't give up.  
He had to tell her that he loved her.

Tarja tried hard. She did everything for her man, worked hard and seemed to read every wish of his from his eyes. They made love quite often, almost every night, and soon their relationship was official.  
Tuomas still hadn't declared his love for her though and soon Tarja started to get depressed.   
"Why don't you want to marry me?" she wrote on a piece of paper one day and gave it to Tuomas.  
"Because what if my fiancée comes back?" he asked softly and Tarja pressed her lips together.  
"Then she'll see that you love me now," she wrote. "Or don't you?"  
"Tarja," Tuomas groaned. "I do but she's just ... she's the right one ..."  
Tarja groaned. She couldn't force him. He had to tell her that he loved her when he was ready, not when she force him to.  
She turned around and left the room with hanging shoulders. She went down to the store and sat down behind the counter, pulling her legs against her chest.  
What else could she do?

The question got answered by nature, when Tarja got pregnant. She had no idea of the signs first, since she had never had to deal with cramps during a period as she had been immortal and therefore she had had no idea about pregnancy; the whole thing with having a period had been new to her as she had turned into a human.  
But then she advanced horrible cravings for cake. Kirsti noticed when they all celebrated Tuomas' birthday and Tarja couldn't stop eating.  
"Sweetheart can I talk to you?" she asked and Tarja nodded, smiling.  
The blonde woman took the dark haired aside. "Are you pregnant?"  
Tarja's mouth went open. "No!" she formed. "How could I be?"  
"You can't fool me, you two aren't abstinent," Kirsti chuckled. "Did you tell Tuomas yet?"  
Tarja waved her hands and shook her head crazily until she found the desired objects - paper and pencil.  
"Kirsti. I'm not pregnant. I didn't say we're abstinent because we really aren't. But I'm not pregnant ... I don't think I'm able to get pregnant."  
"Why wouldn't you? You're healthy," Kirsti said. "Question time now - do you feel sick in the morning?"  
"All the time," Tarja wrote. "For weeks already."  
"Hm. Well I've already seen your cravings for cake ... what about your cravings for coitus?"  
Tarja stared at her hands. Could she tell her that she needed Tuomas every night? Desperately.   
Kirsti chuckled. "When did you get your period for the last time?"  
Tarja shrugged. Was she supposed to count those horrible days of pain and blood?  
"How do you feel? Moody?"  
Tarja chuckled and nodded. Yesterday she could have slapped Tuomas right across the face, a minute after she had cried and felt horrible and needy.  
"Hm," Kirsti said again. "How does your belly feel? Bigger? Hard?"  
Tarja's hands went to her own belly and she let out an inaudible "Oh!"  
Kirsti smiled. "No work for you anymore, young lady. Tell your man. And then better marry quickly."  
Tarja was about to cry. He didn't want her and now she was pregnant ...

"Tarja, are you okay?" Tuomas asked gently as they crawled into bed. Tarja just nodded. "Come here ..." he whispered and pulled her close, pressing a kiss on her lips. "Do you want to -?"  
Of course she wanted to.  
Without a word she deepened the kiss and rolled him over so she was on top.  
She tried to show him how much she loved him but (as always) she felt as if he didn't love her ...  
With a sob she collapsed only a second after her climax. Silent tears rolled over Tuomas' chest and he hugged her.  
"Shhh ... What's wrong? Why are you crying? Tarja ..."  
But Tarja turned away from him and cried until she couldn't cry anymore.  
She hated those humanly feelings. She was weak and she couldn't control them. When she had been the seer, everything had been so different ... she had felt, she had loved. But it had felt much more differently. This kind of love was ... it was sad. Tarja hated herself for agreeing to change, she should have known that he wouldn't want her as a human. But what she had done had been a love declaration like nothing else; she had given up her immortal life to be with him until their deaths. She had changed their sad and horrible future ... and now he didn't want her. But if she told him, she would have to return to her old self and never be allowed to see Tuomas again.

"Good morning," Tuomas whispered into her ear and Tarja yawned. "Had a nice sleep? I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to the lake ...  
Tarja nodded and he kissed her. 'Tell me you love me,' Tarja quietly begged but he didn't. Tarja felt her heart breaking and again cursed her human being.  
And as Tuomas left, she felt alone. Even though she knew that she wasn't.

While she was taking a bath, she suddenly heard his voice.  
Tarja ripped her eyes open as he screamed for her from far away. "Tarja," he shouted. "Tarja, my love, come back ... I miss you! Tarja! Princess Kitarjakiti! I beg you, come back! It's October 31st ... That's our day. Please come back ..."  
'I'm here,' Tarja thought. 'Come home, darling, I'm here ... we are here. Waiting for you ...'

He came back a while later and immediately embraced her. "I've been looking for Tarja, my fiancée," he said quietly. "I called for her and ... suddenly I heard her."  
Tarja stared at him.  
"She ... she begged me to come home ... she said that she ... that they were waiting for me. Tarja ..." He took a breath and looked into her green eyes. "Are you ... princess Kitarjakiti?"  
And since he was asking her the direct question, Tarja was allowed to answer.   
Gently she nodded and Tuomas cupped her face. "Tarja I'm so, so sorry ... I had no idea ... but what happened to your voice? And your eyes? And your hair?"  
Tarja put her hand on his cheek and caressed it, begging him to declare his love with her eyes.  
"Did you ... are you a human now?"  
Tarja nodded.  
"Did you do that for me? So we could stay together?"  
She nodded again.  
"And ... you said that you weren't waiting for me alone ... are you ... pregnant?"  
Tarja nodded again, scared that he'd throw her out now.   
But ...  
"Oh, Tarja ..." Now he was sobbing. He pulled her close and hugged her tightly. "I love you, I love you, I love you so, so much ..."  
And the love declaration was real.  
Tarja felt how her voice came back, how it took place on her vocal cords.  
"I love you too ..." she moaned and he pulled away to look at her.   
"You have your voice back ..."  
"Finally," Tarja said and Tuomas hugged her again.  
"How? I can't imagine how it's possible ... how? Oh, my love ..."  
He was so troubled.  
Tarja took his hand and led him to the bed. As they laid down, she started to tell him her story.  
"It took me years to complete the spell I wanted to. I needed a witch who knew what to do, she has turned lake creatures into humans for several times already. With me it was harder. I was their princess and seer, so they couldn't let me go so easily but one day I simply vanished and awoke somewhere on an island. The witch then told me she had succeeded and I couldn't return. I was a human now. I wanted to thank her but I couldn't say a word ... the witch then laughed and told me that she took my voice for making me be a human ... I'd get it back when my love showed his feelings for me, but I wasn't allowed to tell you who I was ... so yeah. This is my real appearance, the green eyes, the black hair ... I found out the witch had also turned me into the seer when I had been a baby. That's why I was no usual lake creature."  
"But didn't you see a sad future for us?" Tuomas asked gently. "I'm quite happy now ..."  
"I saw the possibility of a happy future for both of us but I had no idea how to get it. Now I know I did the right thing ..."  
"And I always thought I couldn't love you because you looked so much like Tarja," Tuomas said. "I felt so bad because I thought I just used you ..."  
"You never used me, my love," Tarja whispered. "But why could you suddenly hear me? I've been thinking many things so far and suddenly you could hear me ..."  
"Maybe because I called for you," Tuomas said and caressed her hair. "You're beautiful."  
"Did you also think I was beautiful when you had no idea it was me?" Tarja asked and Tuomas nodded.  
"That's why I felt so bad. I thought I was cheating on you. Whenever we made love I felt as if I was doing the wrong thing. I wanted to marry you because I've fallen in love with you but I felt guilty towards ... well, you."  
"I understand," Tarja said with a nod. "Now you know there was no need to. It was me all the time ..."  
"Too bad you weren't allowed to tell me," Tuomas said. "Or that I didn't notice ... I was blind."  
"I was blind too, then I was mute," Tarja said. "You have no idea how hard I fell in love with you the very second you stood in front of me ... when I could see you ..."  
"You really had no idea how I looked like?" Tuomas asked surprised and Tarja shook her head.  
"You also didn't know how I looked like. The seer appearance, that wasn't my real look. At least not to one hundred percent. How did you even fall in love with me? That's something I wanted to ask you."  
Tuomas hesitated. "I have no idea ... I think I just felt that you and I are soul mates ..."  
"We are," Tarja whispered. "I felt it too, that's why I even came here eleven years ago ..."  
Their eyes melted together. "I'm so happy," Tarja whispered and kissed her man. "Now nothing can tear us apart."  
"What could we tell everyone else? About your voice ..."  
"Oh," Tarja said. "That's a good question. Will they believe us if we tell them that I got cursed?"  
"I hope so," Tuomas said. "All we can do is try, right?"  
"Right ..." Tarja said and smiled.  
He had told her that he loved her. Finally. And they were expecting. Life couldn't get better, so Tarja thought.  
And nine months later a beautiful baby was born. A beautiful baby girl who got called Soraja by her parents.  
She was blind and her hair was white ... and when she touched her parents, they could hear her thoughts and feel what she felt ...

 

*the end*


End file.
